I had a conversation the other night with a friend from my old 
stomping grounds who was in town for a national conference. 
We had about an hour chat over soft drinks before she had to 
get back to her hotel room.

The interesting part of our conversation was when we 
discussed a mutual friend who has been forced to deal with 
circumstances beyond his control. Our mutual friend is worthy 
of great respect for many things, including his decision to 
structure his life around taking care of his daughter.

The reason why that part of the conversation was interesting 
was I came face to face with a phenomenon I hadn't thought 
that much about in recent days. It's a specific flag that some 
human beings fly regarding freedom: absolute freedom for 
freedom's sake.

My friend who was attending the conference is of the opinion 
that as long as adults are consenting, and their behavior 
doesn't outwardly hurt anyone else, that it's not only their right 
to pursue this behavior, but no one should judge their decision 
to pursue the activities.

On the surface, I agree with this precept. I agree that human 
beings should be free, and that freedom should include the 
right to do whatever they want to do, as long as others aren't 
harmed in the process. The founding fathers of our country 
also seemed to be in agreement, because they featured this 
sentiment in the second sentence of the Declaration of 
Independence:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are 
created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with 
certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty 
and the pursuit of Happiness."

Be that as it may, as in most cases of black-and-white thinking, 
gray that is ignored can bite you on the posterior.

My friend from out of town is a libertarian, and I am also. This 
means we both place individual liberty very high on our list of 
things that are important in life. Where we disagreed the other 
night, however, is how far one may follow the letter of the law 
before reason is lost.

The crux of my argument was based on a simple observation. 
While I agree that (for example) adult women should have the 
right to be strippers or prostitutes if that's how they wish to 
earn a living, I also believe there are good *reasons* why 
those kinds of vocations are not wise to pursue. The 
"judgmental" opinion of the average person regarding these 
vocations is typically based on these reasons, not merely on a 
personal vendetta against the morals of the practitioners.

To give honest evidence of this concept, I merely asked my 
friend if she would endorse her daughter's possible future 
decision to become a stripper. When my friend said yes, I 
admit I was surprised. Call me delusional, but I would venture 
that if she is ever literally faced with this possibility in the 
future, she would recant her consent for the sake of her 
daughter's well being. I may be way off base, but I think she 
said yes merely to remain in line with her conceptual 
convictions.

Now, is it judgmental of me to assume that persons performing 
those jobs are living lives that usually become unnecessarily 
complicated, stressful and sometimes dangerous, therefore 
making the career choice an unwise one? Certainly. My opinion 
*is* a judgment. Therefore, anyone performing that job would 
be subject to my inclination to judge his or her career choice as 
unwise, unhealthy, and generally foolish.

However, despite the defiant response that free people 
have toward anyone who supposedly rains on the parade, is my 
judgment actually wrong?

You tell me. We don't have to include sex workers in this 
discussion. There are many, many non-professional devotees 
and practitioners of alternative lifestyles, such as BDSM, 
fetish and other "underground" communities. We can simply 
observe that it's common knowledge that everyone is wired 
differently, sexually speaking, and our buttons are all different 
to some degree. Therefore it would be inappropriately 
judgmental to comment on someone else's decisions "behind 
closed doors."

Fine, but riddle me this:

How much thought is truly given to what spurs individual 
deviant sexual behaviors in the first place? Is being "good 
and right" really just a matter of letting people enjoy their 
personal freedoms in any way they wish, or are there elements 
in the world that gratify in the short term while simultaneously 
reinforcing negative or detrimental views of ourselves and
others?

I have no desire to prevent anyone from pursuing whatever 
they wish under the banner of "no unwanted harm done to others." 
What I would like to see though, is more forthrightness 
regarding the reasons why we do what we do, and more 
integrity regarding the actual long-term results of 
incorporating perversions into the basic human drives for touch, 
propagation and love.