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For most people, sex is a complicated issue. The complications are many: confusion, delusion, restriction, addiction, fidelity, infidelity. I think it safe to observe that sex rarely manifests itself in a completely trouble-free and happy environment. How could something so wonderful and natural become so complicated?
You don't have to look hard to find advocates of extremes on both sides of the political sex fence. The entire spectrum, from if-it-feels-good-do-it all the way to sex-is-something-to-be-ashamed-of, is prolifically represented in life and on the Internet. There are a lot of people out there who would love to give you advice on how to best live your lives in terms of sexual activity. However, neither extreme, nor the myriad variations in between, properly address the basic human instinct and need for procreation and sexual intimacy. Rather than a person submitting himself or herself to potentially harmful direction from biased sources, perhaps a simple question posed to one's self might be more edifying. Question: Why is sex considered in the 21st century to be just another biological function, similar to eating or going to the bathroom, when it is also the method by which new life is introduced to the world? Ask people who are in love in a committed relationship such as marriage, how they feel about their children. Especially, ask them how they felt when their children were born. The answers come back with absolute consistency: their children are the most important aspects of their lives, and the births of these children were life-altering. Why is that? Listening to the materialist exponents of the world will enlighten you to the chemical processes involved that, in their expert opinions, arose from millennia of evolutionary change. But that conjecture leads to a chicken-or-egg debate that doesn't truly answer the question. The fact that this intangible bond exists consistently between parents and their offspring speaks much louder than any scientist's attempts to reduce the gravity of it with biological statistics. What we are still left with, since the question isn't sufficiently answered by science, is the simple reality of the strong attachment of parents and their children. It is that reality which plays the most important part in solving the puzzle of modern love. There are many out there, for selfish (and ironically, some unselfishly mislead) reasons, who will speak unendingly about the joys of sex. These joys embrace all kinds of permutations, including sex within marriage, sex outside of marriage, sex before marriage, sex with the opposite gender, sex with the same gender, sex with animals, sex with corpses, sex with machines, sex with children, sex with one's self, sex with toys, sex with master/submissive role play, sex with pornography, sex with cameras, sex in public, sex with all sorts of odd, strange, or bizarre fetishes. What does all this information and activity really say? Does it prove that sex is supposed to be a ripe fruit just waiting to be picked and eaten whenever the mood strikes? Does the excessive proliferation of sexual awareness prove that sex is something that should be experienced by everyone, anywhere, anytime, for whatever reason? Does it support the concept that sex is something that is everyone's 'right' to enjoy? What of the other side? Does the puritanical backlash against such a sex-obsessed culture prove that we're all better off abstaining from sex except to produce children? Are human beings better served by not acknowledging their own biological urge to procreate, and instead living lives filled with shame because their hormones are doing their jobs? Somewhere, somehow, at some time in the past, human beings in the predominant cultures of the world adopted the concept that sex was no longer a mystery. The physical processes themselves were examined and revealed by science. The emotions attached to sex were also dissected and analyzed, and the results reported were as variegated as the imaginative 'professionals' who presented their own conclusions with supposedly clinical accuracy. We were left to deal with the spurious assumptions that all these data were allegedly suggesting. How have we dealt with this information? By pounding away at the delicate nature of the mystery of sex until there is nothing left but dust that blows away at the first strong wind of opinion. Try to imagine the excitement and anticipation that vanishes when something is made commonplace and sometimes vulgar. Think about this. Our genitalia were once considered a mystery, something special, something sacred. That's exactly the sort of respect you give something that causes such a miraculous event as the birth of a child. But now, in the enlightened, informed, educated and evolved 21st century, what you now possess between your legs is a recreational device. A toy that potentially exposes the rest of your body to disease, disappointment, guilt complexes, addictive behavior, marriage-destroying decisions, emotional anguish, monetary ruin, questionable reputation... and the greatest result of all: the depressing truth that the more you try to manipulate or control it, it manipulates and controls you even more. I challenge anyone reading this to deny the negative results of the 'sexual revolution' without making yourself look disingenuous and foolish. We humans are indeed masterful at deluding ourselves. Our popular culture promises that sex will fulfill and satisfy, but in reality sex has become an abused aspect of our existence that won't generate its natural state of bliss unless we close Pandora's Box. We need to once again imbue our sexuality with the respect and reverential mystery it had in our more 'primitive' past; otherwise the situation will only continue to digress and degrade until our ability to truly love others drowns in a cauldron of rational convenience. |