Different Drum

For some reason I've had a song from my childhood running through my head. "Different Drum" by the Stone Poneys, the seventh track on their album called Evergreen Volume 2.

Catchy tune, and you can't go wrong with Linda Ronstadt, plus it was composed by Michael Nesmith of The Monkees.

However, as I was singing it to myself, I noticed something that never occurred to me before:

The lyrics are horrible.

Much the same way "Lightnin Strikes" by Lou Christie promotes a dissolute double standard, Different Drum does something similarly unacceptable in the midst of a hooky melody and seemingly honest sentiments.

Let's take a closer look.

The song starts out promising with the following:

You and I
Travel to the beat of a different drum
Oh, can't you tell by the way I run
Every time you make eyes at me
Whoa

You cry and moan and say
It will work out
But honey child, I've got my doubts
You can't see the forest for the trees

So we start with appears to be an honest assessment of a relationship that isn't likely built to last, due to the participants being too different to find commonality for the long term. So far so good.

Later on toward the end of the song, she also expresses a fair and honest request based on incompatibility by saying:

So goodbye, I'll be leavin'
I see no sense in this cryin' and grievin'
We'll both live a lot longer
If you live without me

However the core of the song (the chorus) expresses a much less circumspect perspective:

So don't get me wrong
It's not that I knock it
It's just that I
Am not in the market
For a boy who wants
To love only me

Yes, and I ain't sayin'
You ain't pretty
All I'm saying, I'm not ready
For any person, place or thing
To try and pull the reins
In on me

So if she's "not in the market" for a boy who wants a commitment, what exactly is she in the market for?

The two most obvious alternatives are:

  1. Celibacy, or complete autonomy with no intimate personal interactions.
  2. Sexual relations and/or non-sexual intimate personal relationships with deliberately non-permanent partners.


More clarity comes in the second stanza, when she admits she finds him attractive, which seems to indicate it's the second alternative she's intimating.

However, in addition to that detail, she also proclaims she's not ready for anyone to "try and pull the reins in on me."

What exactly does she mean by that statement?

First off, if that's how she internalizes a lifelong commitment, it would be generous to observe that her attitude could use some adjustment in the humility department.

Secondly, her magnanimous declaration that "it's not that I knock it" does very little to lessen the ugly truth that she would rather spend time with non-serious sexual partners than invest in a single devoted human being.

So the sad conclusion I must come to is that a wonderful song I enjoyed from my youth turned out to be just another cog in the feminist machine that has convinced women in western cultures that they are sexually and emotionally identical to men, and that it is smarter to stay single and sleep around than start a family.

In other words, Different Drum contributed to the lie that has manifested itself in long term, corrosive effects on our society by reducing women from venerated life-bearers to debased and disposable orgasm generators.